This is the LAST time...

So as I sit here, days away from welcoming our 2nd daughter into the world, I cannot help but think about all the changes that are going to take place. Obviously, I have had the last 9months to think about all of the major changes that will occur....but over the last few weeks, its all the little things that have been hitting me hard. I am pretty sure I start most sentences with 'This is the last time...." and it typically followed by a ridiculous moment or mini-event and then maybe a tear or two. Examples are "This is the last time we will go to the Pumpkin Patch with just one child"....

"This is the last time we will go to this park with just one child"....

"This is the last time Hudsen will eat a turkey dog before her sister arrives"...."This is the last time I will take a picture with Hudsen wearing this shirt before baby girl #2 is here..." So as you can see, this has gotten out of hand. Hmmm....this could also explain why Justin is out playing 36holes of golf 3 days before we have the new baby. "This is the last time Justin will play golf before the baby is born..." Can't say I blame him for needing a little break from my hormonal and emotional breakdowns.

But in all honesty, Justin does understand where I am coming from. We talk about how Hudsen's life will change along with ours, and it is a little heart-wrenching to think that for even one moment she wont feel like the most important person in the world to us. We are both terrified that she would at some point feel left out, or jealous of the new baby and the attention she will obviously get. At only 2 years old, we realize that later down the road she will not even remember life without her little sister...which is sad enough to me....as these 2 years have been the most amazing and without a doubt, most memorable, years of our lives.

We are lucky that Hudsen is as anxious to be a big sister as we are to add another little girl to our family. She has already helped us so much in preparation for the big day. I was worried about switching her into her new Big Girl room, that houses her BIG girl bed! But she rolled with the punches, and has officially been sleeping in a FULLsize bed for a month now. She is still our awesome little sleeper too...the room and bed change had no effect on her, and we are amazed that she is still getting 11 hours of sleep each night, and a 3 hour nap in the afternoon. So because of her cooperation, the crib is all ready for baby girl #2! And when walk by the nursery in the hallway, Hudsen often points in and says 'There's ____ room' - (blank to be filled in with baby girl #2s name....that oddly we have managed to keep a secret!).

Most people told me that I am lucky to know the actual date and time of the baby's arrival this time around. With a scheduled C-Section, it does help with the planning...but I must say, actually knowing what time everything will take place has given me all kinds of anxiety. I am not necessarily worried about the procedure, but more so worried about dropping Hudsen off at my parents that morning, knowing that that will be 'The last time I see Hudsen before we have the new baby" - and picturing saying goodbye to her as Justin and I drive off to the hospital for a life changing event has literally got me crying even as I type this. Hudsen loves going to Carmie and Popi's, so there will be no tears on her end...which I am very grateful for, but still...I can't stop thinking about how hard it will be to wave goodbye. Hudsen will come meet the new baby girl the following day, as I didn't want her to see me immediately after since with Hudsen's birth it took a few hours for the medicine and the shakes to wear off...I just didn't want her to see her mom in such a weird state :)

Wednesday will be the big meet and greet day for Hudsen and her little sister. I cannot even imagine how crazy emotional that will be for us. I think that in order for me to get through these last few days I need to stop thinking about all of the 'Lasts' that are occurring, and start focusing on all of the many many 'Firsts' that are to come...

Some that are already running through my head:

-The first time Hudsen sees the new baby

-The first time the FOUR of us are in the car together (driving home from hospital)

-The first family snuggle session on a Sunday morning

-The first Thanksgiving and Christmas with Hudsen and baby girl #2

-The first trip with Mommy to target (wow...that sounds like it will be challenging...may have to cut back on my shopping!)

-The first fight over a toy

-The first time the girls hold hands crossing the street

(I better stop with my list, as its getting a little emotional over here)

There are so many wonderful new memories to be made and Justin and I cannot wait to continue/start this amazing journey with our two girls. Our biggest wish is that they love each other more than anything and grow up as best friends. We know that there will be the typical girl fights and arguments, but we can't help but hope that some day our daughters will one day get married, and we will listen to each of them toast to the other as their Maid of Honor. Wow, so far down the road, I know...but please, remember, I am 9months pregnant, and having a baby in approximately 60hours :)

NESTING

So I remember it like it was yesterday....when I was about 8 months pregnant with Hudsen, a lady at work was asking me about my pregnancy, and all of the fun things that we were doing to prepare for our first child's arrival. I wasn't stressed, or nervous, or concerned....and she said, "Well, have you started 'nesting' yet?" I told her I didn't know, and she laughed, and said 'oh you will!" and she literally walked away laughing.
I kind of forgot about the conversation....until recently!

Now, to be clear... Webster's Dictionary defines nesting as 'to form compactly together'......pregnant people apparently define nesting as 'the uncontrollable urge to clean your house, and generally go crazy doing all sorts of things that will prepare the 'nest' for the new member of the family.'
I don't know why this didn't happen to me during my 1st pregnancy...but I think it has hit me double this time.
Once I feel I have completed the never ending, handwritten, To-Do List that sits on our kitchen counter....I manage to find a why to add 25 more things that I insist must get done BEFORE the new baby gets here. Many of these items are 'honey-do' chores intended for Justin....so you can imagine his excitement each night when he arrives home from a 10hour work day and I present these fun activities and alert him to the importance of the upcoming weekend to get them ALL done! I can't lie, many times he has come home to me either crying because I am overwhelmed with what I have decided needs to get done, or simply whining and bothered by the fact that he would go to work all day and leave me at home with this never ending list. He can settle me down awfully fast in most cases, and usually after dinner I am too tired to even think about the list and go to bed without a care in the world. But like clockwork, when Hudsen goes down for her nap after lunch, I begin to panic....thinking about all of the things I 'should' be doing with the 3hours I have free.
My latest and possibly, most ridiculous, nesting project went a little like this.
Hudsen and I were at target....shocker - as you can find us there pretty much everyday. I don't know how we end up there, but literally, I cannot pass a target without going in. As soon as I see the Red Bulls eye I immediately think of something I need right then and there and pull over. So, there Hudsen and I were, strolling through the store....aisle by aisle, aimlessly searching for something that I was sure I could not live without, when I came across the most beautiful, non-adhesive, contact paper I had ever seen! It was kelly green, rubberized, and just looked great on the shelf it was displayed on. I had found my next naptime project! Did our kitchen cabinets, shelves, pantry...and okay, bathroom vanities necessarily NEED new contact paper??? ABSOLUTELY! There is a baby coming, and if it doesn't get done now, it NEVER will....and this is exactly how I rationalized it to myself, and later to Justin when he was confused about the randomness of my latest home assignment. So I stocked up and pretty much bought out the stores supply of the exquisite contact paper that I felt so lucky to have found.
We headed home for lunch and I quickly shuffled Hudsen up to her room for naptime. It was as if I couldn't get to this new project fast enough. I wanted to clean, organize, and then later that evening literally present the kitchen to my husband when he came home. So I got to work as soon as Hudsen's head hit the sheets. Again, I cannot lie...this activity was a bit more challenging than I had envisioned. Taking everything out of of every shelf as I went along was quite time consuming. Especially when I was on the floor maneuvering around the pots and pans and larger pieces that at 8+ months pregnant felt like bricks. Measuring every space, and then cutting the liner to fit, and I was always off by a little, so then more time was taken up to trim it to fit perfectly. I had been wearing a long, cotton, green, maxi-dress this day, and I must admit, it was probably one of the few things in my closet that still fit. About 1/2 way through I was sitting, Indian - style, in the kitchen, cutting the paper, maybe a little too quickly, to fit under the sink, I felt something weird. I stopped cutting, and lifted up the contact paper, only to find that I had cut directly into my dress....a straight line about 8inches long. Classic. Now what was I going to wear?! Perhaps I can patch it up with my matching green contact paper?! :)
I did finish this project before Justin came home. I wouldn't say that his excitement level went through the roof when he saw that I had lined every drawer, cabinet, and shelf possible in our house but I do think that he appreciated the effort. An organized house is a happy house.

Now that I have nestled into nesting, I find myself nested...my only worry now is how quickly I can get my hands on a Nestle Crunch!