This is the LAST time...

So as I sit here, days away from welcoming our 2nd daughter into the world, I cannot help but think about all the changes that are going to take place. Obviously, I have had the last 9months to think about all of the major changes that will occur....but over the last few weeks, its all the little things that have been hitting me hard. I am pretty sure I start most sentences with 'This is the last time...." and it typically followed by a ridiculous moment or mini-event and then maybe a tear or two. Examples are "This is the last time we will go to the Pumpkin Patch with just one child"....

"This is the last time we will go to this park with just one child"....

"This is the last time Hudsen will eat a turkey dog before her sister arrives"...."This is the last time I will take a picture with Hudsen wearing this shirt before baby girl #2 is here..." So as you can see, this has gotten out of hand. Hmmm....this could also explain why Justin is out playing 36holes of golf 3 days before we have the new baby. "This is the last time Justin will play golf before the baby is born..." Can't say I blame him for needing a little break from my hormonal and emotional breakdowns.

But in all honesty, Justin does understand where I am coming from. We talk about how Hudsen's life will change along with ours, and it is a little heart-wrenching to think that for even one moment she wont feel like the most important person in the world to us. We are both terrified that she would at some point feel left out, or jealous of the new baby and the attention she will obviously get. At only 2 years old, we realize that later down the road she will not even remember life without her little sister...which is sad enough to me....as these 2 years have been the most amazing and without a doubt, most memorable, years of our lives.

We are lucky that Hudsen is as anxious to be a big sister as we are to add another little girl to our family. She has already helped us so much in preparation for the big day. I was worried about switching her into her new Big Girl room, that houses her BIG girl bed! But she rolled with the punches, and has officially been sleeping in a FULLsize bed for a month now. She is still our awesome little sleeper too...the room and bed change had no effect on her, and we are amazed that she is still getting 11 hours of sleep each night, and a 3 hour nap in the afternoon. So because of her cooperation, the crib is all ready for baby girl #2! And when walk by the nursery in the hallway, Hudsen often points in and says 'There's ____ room' - (blank to be filled in with baby girl #2s name....that oddly we have managed to keep a secret!).

Most people told me that I am lucky to know the actual date and time of the baby's arrival this time around. With a scheduled C-Section, it does help with the planning...but I must say, actually knowing what time everything will take place has given me all kinds of anxiety. I am not necessarily worried about the procedure, but more so worried about dropping Hudsen off at my parents that morning, knowing that that will be 'The last time I see Hudsen before we have the new baby" - and picturing saying goodbye to her as Justin and I drive off to the hospital for a life changing event has literally got me crying even as I type this. Hudsen loves going to Carmie and Popi's, so there will be no tears on her end...which I am very grateful for, but still...I can't stop thinking about how hard it will be to wave goodbye. Hudsen will come meet the new baby girl the following day, as I didn't want her to see me immediately after since with Hudsen's birth it took a few hours for the medicine and the shakes to wear off...I just didn't want her to see her mom in such a weird state :)

Wednesday will be the big meet and greet day for Hudsen and her little sister. I cannot even imagine how crazy emotional that will be for us. I think that in order for me to get through these last few days I need to stop thinking about all of the 'Lasts' that are occurring, and start focusing on all of the many many 'Firsts' that are to come...

Some that are already running through my head:

-The first time Hudsen sees the new baby

-The first time the FOUR of us are in the car together (driving home from hospital)

-The first family snuggle session on a Sunday morning

-The first Thanksgiving and Christmas with Hudsen and baby girl #2

-The first trip with Mommy to target (wow...that sounds like it will be challenging...may have to cut back on my shopping!)

-The first fight over a toy

-The first time the girls hold hands crossing the street

(I better stop with my list, as its getting a little emotional over here)

There are so many wonderful new memories to be made and Justin and I cannot wait to continue/start this amazing journey with our two girls. Our biggest wish is that they love each other more than anything and grow up as best friends. We know that there will be the typical girl fights and arguments, but we can't help but hope that some day our daughters will one day get married, and we will listen to each of them toast to the other as their Maid of Honor. Wow, so far down the road, I know...but please, remember, I am 9months pregnant, and having a baby in approximately 60hours :)